Hate Is Not Evil; It Is Sick

Hate Is Not Evil; It Is Sick

Hate does great harm to its intended targets, and also the hater. And it is contagious like a virus. It inspires those who have no other inspiration in life, to hate. But it is not evil; it is pathological. It poisons society and poisons the hater.

To the haters, poisoning society will not be a persuasive argument to give up hate. They are antisocial; insulated by their “me and my family first” attitude. Except that they and their families will also be second, and third, and fourth, ad nauseam in consideration. And they will smugly pat themselves on the back for their virtue of taking care of family. An excellent attitude if you live in a feudal society.

But if you truly desire to live in a democratic, or even a republican society, family cannot be the only people to take into consideration. There are neighbors, other people in your city (some of whom may be homeless), others in your state, in your country, and ideally others in the world. Even a hardcore survivalist stocks up with products made by other people. And living in a cooperative society is a lot more pleasant than living in one torn by hate, greed, and fear.

Hate also poisons the hater

Hate also poisons the hater. It restricts inspiration, is suspicious of rational thought, and of course demonizes compassion and empathy. Living without inspiration, thought, compassion and empathy, is living with less than full potential. It is living half a life. Less than half. True life satisfaction will always be elusive. Happiness will forever be an unfulfilled dream. The hater lives for revenge, however subtle or indirect.

Hate is so vicious because it is a self-fulfilling cycle of lying. Take for example, the hater that lives for revenge. When he or she completes no revenge, it is frustrating and that inflames the hate. When revenge is completed the satisfaction lasts for only a few minutes or hours. The evaporation of satisfaction also leads to frustration. No matter what the hater does, frustration soon follows. He or she then turns to more revenge in order to assuage the frustration. The cycle continues, with the hater running on a treadmill, chasing after a lie.

Hate is not rational

You would think that the argument “hating means you are hurting yourself” would have some traction with haters. That would be rational. Hate is not rational.

To break the cycle, haters have to learn healthier ways of dealing with frustration. Hitting a pillow with a tennis racket is both loud and ineffectual. Hitting anything, does not help deal with frustration. What does help is a new attitude. It was an attitude that made hate so seductive to begin with. But working from the same attitude will cause the same result.

This attitude, which is called “Acceptance” in mental health literature, is one of observing one’s internal activities, including unpleasant emotions like hate or frustration, without judgment. By observing them without trying to get rid of them (or pump them up), you siphon off their fuel. They lose power over you, and so, other people lose power over you. When you voluntarily give up hate, you become stronger, healthier, and more independent.

Douglas R Pitts is a mental health counselor in a Washington State prison, and author of the book “144 Aphorisms.”

The opinions stated in this article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Washington State Department of Corrections.